Isolation, loneliness, seclusion - I became a synonym of these words in next 10 days. Most of the times I was confined in my room and was hardly interested in meeting or talking with someone. My family, especially my mother, became very much worried over this strange behavior of mine. I could put them off with great difficulty by saying that I was missing all my college friends and college life. I doubt this excuse entirely convinced them, but then, they couldn't find any other reason behind my sudden craving for isolation.
One morning my mother gave final ultimatum to me get rid of all my notes and useless books which had converted my room into a mess. Reluctantly I picked up the notes and books that I had given to her and just flipped through the pages. My 3rd, 4th and 5th semester notes were full of pen marks. I preferred using pencil and she was just opposite of mine. At many places she had crossed the small points written by me and wrote her own observations. This was hardly any surprising for me since I was well aware of her nature. What baffled me were the notes of 6th semester which hardly had pen marks on it. I have the habit of writing my name on the notes on different pages. I was surprised to see her name in pen written alongside me. It was obvious that she had written it but why? I flipped through the pages but didn't find any thing else. Something went through my mind and I quickly picked up my final year notes that I had given her just a few days back.
On the very first page was written a very beautiful poem about love. It was written in her handwriting. There was nothing else in the notes or the books. I read the poem and then re-read it many times. I am a poet and she was never into poetry. Somehow she had managed to write one - but why? My mind and heart got engaged in a duel. My heart talked about the intuition while my mind supported logic. My head was spinning and I was hardly able to think properly.
"Tell me one thing dude. Did you ever tell her that you love her or you had kept those feelings to yourself only?"
Vinay's parting words suddenly echoed in my mind. I didn't answer him then but it was true that I never expressed my feelings towards her to her. There was always an unknown fear in my mind and I could never conquer it. But had she fallen in love with me as well? This question was pelting stones on thinking. I had to know the answer quickly and I could find just one way of doing so.
She picked up the mobile on the second ring and I waited only for a second to confirm it was her before I said quickly 'I Love You'. There was a stunning silence between us for next few seconds. I kept my eyes closed all this while as I got gripped with that unknown fear once again. Then I heard a sob on the phone and I knew she was crying.
"What took you so long....to say it?" She finally spoke controlling her sobs.
"Why didn't you ever say it to me?"
"I was afraid. It was I who had proposed that deal and then said that love will have no place in it. When I began to develop feelings towards you I tried to stop them. But I failed..."
"I am coming to the college tomorrow."
"What?" she was surprised.
"Ya. I had almost lost my love and spent last 10 days like living in a hell. I can't wait for even a day to be with my life...."
"Even I can't....but till then, I hope you have enough talk time on your cell phone."
I didn't sleep that night.
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